The Four Hundred

An acronym is a word formed from the initial letters of words in a phrase. Its purpose is to simplify speaking and writing. The word laser, for instance, is really an acronym for "light amplification by stimulated emissions of radiation." SNADS is an acronym for "Systems Network Architecture Distribution Services." These are very appropriate and practical uses of acronyms. They help simplify communication without losing meaning. They also work well as words in their own right, which isn't a requirement for an acronym, but it is nice.

We don't have to refer to the latest way to correct vision as light-amplification-by-stimulated-emissions-of-radiation surgery; we call it laser surgery. And, "Send that file via SNADS" works much better than, "Send that file via Systems Network Architecture Distribution Services."

Now almost every phrase has an acronym, regardless of its practicality. The phrase "for your information" has morphed its way into the very hip acronym FYI. I see it all the time as the opening to an e-mail or memo. In fact, many use it as an opening to a conversation: "Kevin, FYI, we have a meeting in 15 minutes!"

What's the purpose of that acronym? Or the full phrase, for that matter? Is seeing it in an e-mail or hearing it in a hallway conversation supposed to alert me in some way? Is it supposed to make me think, "Wow, what's coming next must be extremely important because he said 'FYI'?" I guess I assume that if you're writing or saying something to me, that something must be for my information. We don't even need the phrase, why do we need the acronym?

That's one of those acronyms that was probably invented before the phrase it stands for was actually ever used. But it's not the only one. Other hip new acronyms that serve no purpose at all have made their way into our speech and writing. IMHO ("in my humble opinion") and FWIW ("for what it's worth") come to mind, but there are others. These acronyms are not used to simplify a necessary phrase or idea; rather, they are merely wasted letters, which lead to wasted time. First of all, if everyone who used IMHO was really that humble, the world would be a better place, but this acronym is often used after someone's been on a tired and tries to soften things up by adding "IMHO" at the end. The more appropriate acronym would be IMAO ("in my arrogant opinion"). Although useless, it comes closer to the truth.

Like many, I try to simplify my writing and speaking if I can do so without causing confusion. I use acronyms to do this, but I am also careful with my usage. It's easier to say, "North Carolina will win the ACC tournament" than it is to say, "North Carolina will win the Atlantic Coast Conference tournament." However, it might be important to use the latter if your audience might just as easily think of the ACC as the "Airport Communications Coalition." If you are going to use acronyms, it is important to know your audience.

The thing to remember most about communication outside the IT world is that your average chief executive probably won't know what you are talking about, and using acronyms, buzzwords, and technical jargon makes you look either arrogant or clueless about what they want to hear, which is that you know how to use technology to solve business problems. Unless you are working for a hardware manufacturer or software developer, the top brass at your company don't want to know how to build a clock. They just want you to tell them what time it is. The way you speak determines, to a large extent, how far you go in life.

We IT types don't often try to know our audience, and our use of acronyms outside of IT is often times more of a habit than a plan. However, there are many who don't care to know their audience and use acronyms whenever they get the chance.

That bothers me. Acronyms have become a way to impress or confuse, instead of to simplify and clarify communication. In fact, we don't even call them acronyms anymore, or even TLAs (which, ironically, is the three-letter acronym for "three-letter acronyms"). We call them buzzwords. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines buzzword as "a word or phrase used by members of some in-group, having little or imprecise meaning, but sounding impressive to outsiders."

Sound like IT? We encourage people to learn the buzzwords before going to a meeting or an interview for the sole purpose of impressing someone. Is that pathetic, or what? Programmers are famous for using programming-related buzzwords in front of non-programmers. They love to throw in a DDM here or an XML there, just to try to dazzle the user. This is an additional problem with acronyms, or more appropriately, people who use acronyms. They take perfectly acceptable acronyms and use them unnecessarily around people who have no idea what they're saying. So, in the name of impressing someone, we have only created confusion. And we wonder why users hate IT people so much.

Résumés are full of buzzwords, and they aren't there to conserve space. The more buzzwords listed, the more impressive a résumé looks. Why else would someone put DFU on his résumé? That same person would never list Data File Utility as a programming language if he had to spell it out.

Because of the abundance of acronyms in our language, another phenomenon has surfaced. We now have heteronym acronyms. Heteronyms are words that are spelled the same but have different meanings. For example, the word lead is a heteronym. It has two meanings. It can mean "to guide," as in, "He will lead us to victory," or it can be used to describe a metallic element, as in, "He was digging for gold, but all he found was lead."

Heteronyms make the English language confusing enough, but with the addition of heteronym acronyms, we have a whole new level of misunderstanding to work through. This is not so bad if the heteronym acronyms are in different industries or unrelated areas of interest. Programmers and military personnel are not confused by the acronym RPG, because it stands for two distinctly different phrases, from two different areas of interest. However, a report program generator programmer in the military may have to be careful when using RPG, because he has to distinguish between the programming language, report program generator, and a tool for war, rocket propelled grenade.

The more critical situation arises when there are heteronym acronyms used in the same industry or area of interest. I had a conversation a little like this while attending a COMMON conference a couple years back:

"What? I don't think this session is about Active Server Pages. It better not be."

"Oh, I didn't know you had any interest in auxiliary storage pools. I might go to that session with you."

"Maybe I'm way off-base, but I thought I was going to learn something about application service providers."

How confusing! I wonder how many people received the handout and walked out because they thought it was something else. Of course, this particular conference being in San Diego, it's likely that a local programmer thought that the session was one of those non-technical, fun sessions that COMMON likes to provide. Imagine the surprise when the instructor wasn't there representing the Association of Surfing Professionals.

FYI, we've got to put an end to the acronym madness ASAP! If using one is not going to simply or clarify the spoken or written word, then don't use it! FWIW, if you're a programmer and want to impress a user or the chief executive, instead of baffling him with buzzwords, try getting projects completed on time--IMHO.