The Search For Intelligent Life Apparently Is Over

April 1, 2019 Orwell

Extraterrestrials from the planet Voltak in the constellation Dithmaar today shared conclusions about their recently completed mission to IS Manager Gerald Hugh’s well-run computer department located on the second floor of Statewide Tire & Rim in beautiful East Plymouth, South Dakota.

“Thank you, Earthlings, for allowing us to examine your planet for the past two years, and in particular, we’d like to give a big shout out to Gerald Hugh’s for letting us monitor his extremely well-run information services department,” tweeted Commander Rahnzo Maxdruv of the 17th Expeditionary Fleet of Voltak Imperial Starship Command from his work account, @alienzforlife.

“When …